How to Get Your Ex Back the Healthy Way

The Magic of Making Up

Scenario:

Sheema was devastated.  She wanted to get back together with ex boyfriend Andre.  Andre had told her that he needed some “space.”  Andre said that he still cared for her but didn’t want to date exclusively any more.

What should Sheema do to get back together with her ex Andre?  Should she call him and text him?  Should she show up and flirt with his friends?  Should she ignore him completely?

Actually, she should do none of these.  Instead, she should listen to him.

He says that he loves her but that he needs space.  While this may seem like a cliché, the truth is that many times when people use this line they mean what they say.

Sometimes a relationship just gets ahead of a person.  They may not be ready for the responsibilities a relationship carries.  But that doesn’t mean that they don’t love their ex.  In fact, they may love him or her too much and want to take a step back.  People get scared.

Given that this is the case, let’s take a look at what disasterous things can happen if Sheema handles the situation badly.

For instance, if Sheema were to endlessly pursue Andre with calls, emails and texts, she wouldn’t be giving him the space he needed to get his head on straight.  Letters, gifts, and texting "our song" to his cell would have the same effect.

One of Sheema's friends suggested that she start flirting with all Andre's friends to make him jealous in an attempt to get back together with Andre.  This is a common recommendation because it is assumed that men will want what other men have.  The problem is that by playing games now, Sheema will be jeopardizing her relationship in the future.  And, there is a strong likelihood that Andre would just be angry at Sheema, think some very bad things about Sheema and push her even further away.

Another option Sheema considered was just ignoring him altogether.  In some ways, because she was so hurt by Andre’s rejection, she wanted to punish him.

What should Sheema do?  She should allow Andre to see her at her best, not her worst.  Sheema should be open and receptive but not pushy when they meet each other in social situations that are not set up situations to throw them together. This is her opportunity to show him what a wonderful woman and wonderful human being she is.  She becomes someone he wants to reconsider spending time with.  She has allowed him to see her at her best.

Sheema has a number of options if she wants to get back together with her ex.  But, her best option is simply to listen to Andre.  He said he needs space.  So, she should give it to him.  She should let him have the opportunity to decide whether to get back together or not.

My guess is that Andre will come back to Sheema and he’ll be ready to take the relationship to the next level.  If Sheema plays her cards right, she will have a stronger relationship overall. 

That’s how to get your ex back in a healthy way.  To learn what other cards Sheema or you should be playing to get your ex back the healthy way visit The Magic of Making Up.  Love doesn't die unless you smother it.

What to Do If You Feel the Love is Still There

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What to do if you feel the love is still there? You're not ready to give up on your love, you feel it in your gut.

Do you want to win ex back? You've put alot of time and emotional investment into the relationship and you're not ready to throw it away without a fight.

Here’s how to win your ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he or she is like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your ex-love, you can move onto the next step making up with your ex.

And the next step is examining how they feel about you. Does he or she still have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win your ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – they no longer feel that grand love for you – you should accept it and move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, a love worth saving, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when they fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your friends, more outgoing, or  involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with someone, you do begin to change. You spend less time with friends or on your own activities as he or she begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in their affection.
If you want to know how to get your ex back, you need to go back to being the person they fell in love with.
Another tip on making up with your ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call them, no texting, and definitely do not stalk. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to them, more mature.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You go back to hobbies and other things which interested you or find new ones you've always wanted to try. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps to win your ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit they really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him or her, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this person, you can use your common history to win your ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him or her to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite them to a party. Let him or her know they are free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either they are in love with you or they are not. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.

For more information on how to move from the detached stage to making him or her see the desirable person they fell in love with, visit Magic of Making Up. 

How Psychology Can Help Overcome Conflicts in Your Relationship

Image by Craig Loftus via FlickrIn trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology can help us understand how men and women react differently to conflict.

If you are dating, in a marriage, or any other type of relationship, there are going to be conflicts. You are not going to agree with your partner all the time, neither will you always be in a great mood, but how you handle these conflicts are what will either make or break your relationship.


Men and women handle conflicts differently. Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve the conflict in a relationship. This may lead to the infamous phrase, "We need to talk." Most men when they hear this, know that what's coming is not going to be pleasant - for them.

Men on the other hand, are more passive in conflict resolution, they are less likely to confront the conflict head on. They may feel that the conflict will work itself out or if they present a solution - end of conflict.

Scenario:

Bill forgets to pick up the dry cleaning that Lille asks
him to pick up on his way home from work.

Lille has had a bad day, and barks at Bill
when he shows up without the dry cleaning.

Bill, thinking like a man, says he'll pick up the dry cleaning after work tomorrow and thinks that'll be the end of Lille's anger. (the FIX)

But...

During dinner he can still feel Lille's anger. Comments are made. Bill returns the anger with anger and the
whole 'dry cleaning situation' explodes into WWIII

Now imagine...

If when Bill returned home...and confronted by an angry Lille (he would've looked deeper and realized this was about more than just the dry cleaning).

Lille: Where's the dry cleaning?

Bill: Oh CRAP! I totally forgot!

Lille: It figures. (angrily) You never remember anything I ask you to do.

Bill: (Taking Lille in his arms) I can't believe I forgot the dry cleaning. I've been so
forgetful lately.

Lille: (cooling down) It's okay. It's not a big deal.

Bill: No, it is a big deal. (cupping Lille's face in his hands) I love you, you're just
as busy as I am and I shouldn't forget such a small request.

Lille: (big smile) Ooooh...I just had a bad day and felt totally unappreciated. I
shouldn't be such a grump. You're so sweet.

Bill: It's okay...I was a bad boy...What happened today?

Lille: Mmmmm...(and she tells him about her day.)

Conflict resolved.

It is important to remember that every relationship has some type of conflict. Some relationships experience conflicts more than others, some are minor and some are hurtful. Then there are those relationships that seem to have never ending patterns of conflicts that seem impossible to break.

It is possible to break the patterns of conflict and bring harmony and balance back to your relationship.
To learn more in-depth information about the psychology in conflict resolution, visit Magic of Making Up, and find out more about how men and women deal with conflict.

Read 5 Simple Tips - How to Get Your Boyfriend Back

It won't easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back together after a breakup. BUT, it CAN be done. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts caused by the breakup. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.

Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior. We humans tend to re-play all the bad moments over and over, this does you no good.

2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you start to feel better on the inside, puts that extra spring in your step or that swing to the hips. Ladies, we know that when we know we look good, it puts that extra wriggle to our hips. We feel more confident and more outgoing. We even laugh more. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend, he'll start to see you differently.

5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. You may be afraid that he'll find someone else, but the magic of making up covers this scenario as well.  If you want more detailed information, visit the Magic of Making Up. Learn more proven techniques that will help you focus and be successful in making up and getting your ex-boyfriend back.

Thinking How to Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend - The Magic of Making Up

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If you are wondering, How can I get back with my ex girlfriend? The first thing that you need to understand is that this is a very delicate situation. Your feelings may be hurt, and her feelings may also be hurt - And it is important that you are careful about what you're doing accordingly, otherwise feelings may be hurt even worse.

Here are the considerations that you need to make when it comes to figuring out how to get back with your ex girlfriend.

1 - First and foremost, what was it that you did in order to cause the break up? Girls do not break up with guys completely out of the blue, so there is probably a really good reason behind the action even if you are not immediately aware of what it is. The first step in this process has to be to figure out what went wrong, whether or not it could have been prevented, and how can you can fix it now that you know what it is.

2 - If the break up with your ex girlfriend was entirely your fault, then the first thing that you need to do to help rekindle things is to let your ex girlfriend know that you recognize what happened, you recognize that it was your fault, and that you are sorry for your actions and the unintended consequences.

3 - You should continue to socialize with other people, even though you are trying to court your ex again. Just because you and your ex are not in contact right now, that does not mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. You should at least go out and have some fun with your friends.

4 - Show your ex that you have moved on, but you also need to show her that you still care about her. This is the most ideal way to eventually get her back. Let her know that you have not completely moved on, and that you still have feelings for her, and this will make you appear more mature to her, and more desirable as well.

5 - Finally, it is important that you work hard to become friends with your ex again. This will build trust, and will help to make you closer to one another.

Afterwards, you should ask her why you broke up in the first place, but be casual about it rather than appearing desperate. She will either admit that it was a mistake that the two of you broke up, or she will let you know that the break up was for the better. Once you have an answer, you can proceed from there.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back.

T 'Dub' Jackson has authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. In case you're wondering, I did the breaking up.  My boyfriend waited and bided his time.  He gave me space, and did a few other things that got me looking at him in a new light.  He obviously followed T 'Dub' Jackson's advice. Stop wondering what to do to get back with my ex girlfriend and start doing something about it - The Magic of Making Up.

Heartbroken, Can I Get My Ex Back?

Image via WikipediaIf you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice.  Yes, be nice.  If you weren't that nice before, be doubly nice now.


Why?

If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.  No desperation, no drama, just pleasantness.  Be nice.

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.
You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together. Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—DON'T DO IT.   Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?  You won't get another chance again because you lied. Everything you do after that will be thought a lie.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy. 

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

There's alot of controversy about the wait and let them see you are doing great without them strategy on how to bet back with your ex. Share your comments.

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