What to Do If You Feel the Love is Still There

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What to do if you feel the love is still there? You're not ready to give up on your love, you feel it in your gut.

Do you want to win ex back? You've put alot of time and emotional investment into the relationship and you're not ready to throw it away without a fight.

Here’s how to win your ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he or she is like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your ex-love, you can move onto the next step making up with your ex.

And the next step is examining how they feel about you. Does he or she still have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win your ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – they no longer feel that grand love for you – you should accept it and move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, a love worth saving, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when they fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your friends, more outgoing, or  involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with someone, you do begin to change. You spend less time with friends or on your own activities as he or she begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in their affection.
If you want to know how to get your ex back, you need to go back to being the person they fell in love with.
Another tip on making up with your ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call them, no texting, and definitely do not stalk. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to them, more mature.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You go back to hobbies and other things which interested you or find new ones you've always wanted to try. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps to win your ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit they really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him or her, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this person, you can use your common history to win your ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him or her to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite them to a party. Let him or her know they are free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either they are in love with you or they are not. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.

For more information on how to move from the detached stage to making him or her see the desirable person they fell in love with, visit Magic of Making Up. 

How Psychology Can Help Overcome Conflicts in Your Relationship

Image by Craig Loftus via FlickrIn trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology can help us understand how men and women react differently to conflict.

If you are dating, in a marriage, or any other type of relationship, there are going to be conflicts. You are not going to agree with your partner all the time, neither will you always be in a great mood, but how you handle these conflicts are what will either make or break your relationship.


Men and women handle conflicts differently. Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve the conflict in a relationship. This may lead to the infamous phrase, "We need to talk." Most men when they hear this, know that what's coming is not going to be pleasant - for them.

Men on the other hand, are more passive in conflict resolution, they are less likely to confront the conflict head on. They may feel that the conflict will work itself out or if they present a solution - end of conflict.

Scenario:

Bill forgets to pick up the dry cleaning that Lille asks
him to pick up on his way home from work.

Lille has had a bad day, and barks at Bill
when he shows up without the dry cleaning.

Bill, thinking like a man, says he'll pick up the dry cleaning after work tomorrow and thinks that'll be the end of Lille's anger. (the FIX)

But...

During dinner he can still feel Lille's anger. Comments are made. Bill returns the anger with anger and the
whole 'dry cleaning situation' explodes into WWIII

Now imagine...

If when Bill returned home...and confronted by an angry Lille (he would've looked deeper and realized this was about more than just the dry cleaning).

Lille: Where's the dry cleaning?

Bill: Oh CRAP! I totally forgot!

Lille: It figures. (angrily) You never remember anything I ask you to do.

Bill: (Taking Lille in his arms) I can't believe I forgot the dry cleaning. I've been so
forgetful lately.

Lille: (cooling down) It's okay. It's not a big deal.

Bill: No, it is a big deal. (cupping Lille's face in his hands) I love you, you're just
as busy as I am and I shouldn't forget such a small request.

Lille: (big smile) Ooooh...I just had a bad day and felt totally unappreciated. I
shouldn't be such a grump. You're so sweet.

Bill: It's okay...I was a bad boy...What happened today?

Lille: Mmmmm...(and she tells him about her day.)

Conflict resolved.

It is important to remember that every relationship has some type of conflict. Some relationships experience conflicts more than others, some are minor and some are hurtful. Then there are those relationships that seem to have never ending patterns of conflicts that seem impossible to break.

It is possible to break the patterns of conflict and bring harmony and balance back to your relationship.
To learn more in-depth information about the psychology in conflict resolution, visit Magic of Making Up, and find out more about how men and women deal with conflict.