How Psychology Can Help Overcome Conflicts in Your Relationship

Image by Craig Loftus via FlickrIn trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology can help us understand how men and women react differently to conflict.

If you are dating, in a marriage, or any other type of relationship, there are going to be conflicts. You are not going to agree with your partner all the time, neither will you always be in a great mood, but how you handle these conflicts are what will either make or break your relationship.


Men and women handle conflicts differently. Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve the conflict in a relationship. This may lead to the infamous phrase, "We need to talk." Most men when they hear this, know that what's coming is not going to be pleasant - for them.

Men on the other hand, are more passive in conflict resolution, they are less likely to confront the conflict head on. They may feel that the conflict will work itself out or if they present a solution - end of conflict.

Scenario:

Bill forgets to pick up the dry cleaning that Lille asks
him to pick up on his way home from work.

Lille has had a bad day, and barks at Bill
when he shows up without the dry cleaning.

Bill, thinking like a man, says he'll pick up the dry cleaning after work tomorrow and thinks that'll be the end of Lille's anger. (the FIX)

But...

During dinner he can still feel Lille's anger. Comments are made. Bill returns the anger with anger and the
whole 'dry cleaning situation' explodes into WWIII

Now imagine...

If when Bill returned home...and confronted by an angry Lille (he would've looked deeper and realized this was about more than just the dry cleaning).

Lille: Where's the dry cleaning?

Bill: Oh CRAP! I totally forgot!

Lille: It figures. (angrily) You never remember anything I ask you to do.

Bill: (Taking Lille in his arms) I can't believe I forgot the dry cleaning. I've been so
forgetful lately.

Lille: (cooling down) It's okay. It's not a big deal.

Bill: No, it is a big deal. (cupping Lille's face in his hands) I love you, you're just
as busy as I am and I shouldn't forget such a small request.

Lille: (big smile) Ooooh...I just had a bad day and felt totally unappreciated. I
shouldn't be such a grump. You're so sweet.

Bill: It's okay...I was a bad boy...What happened today?

Lille: Mmmmm...(and she tells him about her day.)

Conflict resolved.

It is important to remember that every relationship has some type of conflict. Some relationships experience conflicts more than others, some are minor and some are hurtful. Then there are those relationships that seem to have never ending patterns of conflicts that seem impossible to break.

It is possible to break the patterns of conflict and bring harmony and balance back to your relationship.
To learn more in-depth information about the psychology in conflict resolution, visit Magic of Making Up, and find out more about how men and women deal with conflict.