How to Get Your Ex Back the Healthy Way

The Magic of Making Up

Scenario:

Sheema was devastated.  She wanted to get back together with ex boyfriend Andre.  Andre had told her that he needed some “space.”  Andre said that he still cared for her but didn’t want to date exclusively any more.

What should Sheema do to get back together with her ex Andre?  Should she call him and text him?  Should she show up and flirt with his friends?  Should she ignore him completely?

Actually, she should do none of these.  Instead, she should listen to him.

He says that he loves her but that he needs space.  While this may seem like a cliché, the truth is that many times when people use this line they mean what they say.

Sometimes a relationship just gets ahead of a person.  They may not be ready for the responsibilities a relationship carries.  But that doesn’t mean that they don’t love their ex.  In fact, they may love him or her too much and want to take a step back.  People get scared.

Given that this is the case, let’s take a look at what disasterous things can happen if Sheema handles the situation badly.

For instance, if Sheema were to endlessly pursue Andre with calls, emails and texts, she wouldn’t be giving him the space he needed to get his head on straight.  Letters, gifts, and texting "our song" to his cell would have the same effect.

One of Sheema's friends suggested that she start flirting with all Andre's friends to make him jealous in an attempt to get back together with Andre.  This is a common recommendation because it is assumed that men will want what other men have.  The problem is that by playing games now, Sheema will be jeopardizing her relationship in the future.  And, there is a strong likelihood that Andre would just be angry at Sheema, think some very bad things about Sheema and push her even further away.

Another option Sheema considered was just ignoring him altogether.  In some ways, because she was so hurt by Andre’s rejection, she wanted to punish him.

What should Sheema do?  She should allow Andre to see her at her best, not her worst.  Sheema should be open and receptive but not pushy when they meet each other in social situations that are not set up situations to throw them together. This is her opportunity to show him what a wonderful woman and wonderful human being she is.  She becomes someone he wants to reconsider spending time with.  She has allowed him to see her at her best.

Sheema has a number of options if she wants to get back together with her ex.  But, her best option is simply to listen to Andre.  He said he needs space.  So, she should give it to him.  She should let him have the opportunity to decide whether to get back together or not.

My guess is that Andre will come back to Sheema and he’ll be ready to take the relationship to the next level.  If Sheema plays her cards right, she will have a stronger relationship overall. 

That’s how to get your ex back in a healthy way.  To learn what other cards Sheema or you should be playing to get your ex back the healthy way visit The Magic of Making Up.  Love doesn't die unless you smother it.